Freedom Changes Everything

On a recent holiday with friends, we ended up in a bowling alley.

One friend was struggling. His own turns were tense, forced, and the results showed it. But every so often, he’d take an extra bowl because the two-year-old we were with had wandered off and lost interest.

Something interesting happened.

When he bowled someone else’s turn, the scores improved. The ball rolled more freely. The pins fell more often.

Eventually he noticed it himself and asked why.

The answer was simple: he didn’t care.

There was no expectation. No pressure. No internal commentary about what should happen. He was just rolling the ball with intent and letting it go.

I suggested he try to bring that same freedom into his own turn — not by trying harder, but by caring less about the outcome and staying present with the action itself.

Two of his next three bowls were strikes.

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Golfers see this all the time.

You’ve just hit one out of bounds. You reload. The provisional ball is flushed straight down the middle — relaxed, committed, and free.

Nothing mechanical changed.Awareness changed.Acceptance changed.And freedom followed.

When the mind stops resisting outcomes and stops reaching into the future, the body does what it already knows how to do.

This is the heart of my coaching philosophy.

Before technique matters, you need to give yourself permission to swing freely. Before control shows up, awareness has to arrive. And performance improves fastest when you’re willing to accept whatever happens next.

Be here for this shot.S wing with intent. Accept the result.

The rest tends to take care of itself.